What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
