Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
