so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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