I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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