So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just had sex bonerless
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
