I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
