what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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