Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
