I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize