So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
