i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
