He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
