is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
