I can't watch pbs sober anymore
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize