She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
