That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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