Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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