Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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