What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
