You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize