Me too!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
