Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
