Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize