Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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