you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
