just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is Oprah even human
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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