It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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