I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
