Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
