i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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