I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Text me some of your sweat
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