I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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