When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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