I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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