why didn't you poke me back
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
