brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
