I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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