Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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