Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
