I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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