You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
