Your tits are I can't wait for
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry about my life...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
