Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sober January is a disaster.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize