i wish peter jackson would direct porn
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
