I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize