YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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