just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
