Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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