just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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