everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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