yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
