Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
