i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
