you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This is my gift to your gina
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
