Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
