So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
