So drunk its hurt
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
tell me about the eggs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
