I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize