Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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