Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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