no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
