coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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