Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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