Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
