when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
