you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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